Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
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Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
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Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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