Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
