oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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