I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
