It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I love you.
Bad choice
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