Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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