wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
