I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
