i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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