i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
