Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
