So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
