You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
