Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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