You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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