You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
