Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
