is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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