so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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