I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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