I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
