Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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