how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize