But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
