Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
