and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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