Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
