Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.