i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
