i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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