I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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