I CAN MOONWALK!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
