I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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