Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize