So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
