I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We are all done wearing pants today
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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