Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So vagazzling was a success
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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