If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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