I hope mine doesn't look like that
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Floor bacon is actually really good
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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