i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
lol hangovers are for mortals.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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