Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
