just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
