all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
