You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Your dad touched me again.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
