i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
