All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
