About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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