we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
