I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
