you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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