One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
