I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
