we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
