You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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