I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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