Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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