Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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