im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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